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Working Your Way into the Buddhist Community

Over the years this blog has had plenty of questions and comments from people asking how to join a Buddhist community, or sharing stories of their failed attempts. Truth be told, it is not always easy to become part of a Buddhist community. For many people who do not live near major cities, the nearest temple or meditation center can be far, far away. But even people who have a temple in their own backyard can have a difficult time joining a community when they don’t have a friend to guide them into the fold.

A tip from someone who has stumbled through a number of communities: to become part of the community, sometimes you have to work at it. Literally.

People join Buddhist communities for a lot of reasons, and the more specific one’s reason the easier it is to fulfill. If you are looking for a place to learn more about the Buddha’s teachings, you can go to a Dharma Talk or a study group. If you are looking for a place to meditate, you can find a venue that offers group sitting, or join a retreat. It becomes more complicated when the objective of joining a community is to belong to a community. Such times call for good, old-fashioned manual labor.

My time-tested theory works like this: If you join a community without any previous connection, you need to make a friend. You need to make the first friend who is going to be your connection to the rest of the community. By doing work around the temple you do three important things:

  1. You show yourself to be a considerate, well-mannered person. We are all unique and beautiful snowflakes on the inside, but showing it helps.
  2. You bring yourself to the attention of the other considerate, well-mannered persons who are also doing work around the temple. Most people in any Buddhist community are not overly concerned with the growth of the community, but rather in their own day-to-day interactions. People who do temple work are interested in the health, and likely the growth, of the temple, and are far more likely to reach out to newcomers.
  3. Manual labor provides a nice, low-level activity to bond over. Like playing cards or sharing a drink—socializing is easier when something else is going on. In this case, work is that thing.

The kind of work does not need to be complicated, and a newcomer can usually find something to do just by being observant. Once a talk or function is over, perhaps the cushions need to be put away or the chairs need to be stacked. If there is a communal meal, someone needs to do the dishes. Sutra books and chanting sheets need to be collected. If someone else is working on something, ask if they need help. In the life of a temple, there is always plenty to do.

The biggest mistake people make when joining a community is coming with expectations: Expectations about what the community should be like or should offer, and expectations for how they should be treated. Doing work for the temple is a great way to maintain our humility, and show that we are not only interested in what we can get out of the community, but what we can give. And when we can approach joining a Buddhist community with that perspective, we come closer to being a part of that community.


Photograph by AnnieGreenSprings

  • http://www.howtomediation.com Sean

    This is so true. Monasteries and sangha communities are inundated with many ‘students’ who claim loyalty, allegiance and devotedness on the first day of their arrival. The more they claim their eagerness, the quicker they usually leave.
    The ones who put their nose to the grindstone, help out with chores, ask polite questions, question how long they may stay, and see how it goes day-by-day are the ones who usually stay the longest.
    I appreciate this article because it highlights great ways to learn the ways of the community and for the community to learn more about you. Thank you!

  • akshay kumar brahma

    sir,i am a.k.brahma from INDIA (orissa,puri)age 31.i m full harased with my life.i so i like to donate my life to budha

  • garyjfarrow

    Living here in VT, I have the good fortunate of living near Karme Choling (KCL) a meditation retreat center in Barnet. It is part of the Shambhala Buddhist network of major land centers. There is also a local center in my city. I volunteer at KCL 4 hrs one day a week and attend dharma talks one night a week.

    Through my volunteer efforts I have able to take many programs at KCL. Shambhala Buddhism has a focus on creating enlightened society and the people at KCL make a real effort to live out the credo. I find it a terrific antidote to the rest of the world and have learned a lot about how to practice the teachings. I have been actively involved for about 5 years.

    I have the best and the rest of both worlds which to me is what it is all about. I am beginning to participate in the Buddhist community and have recently begun to publish a blog of my own, CrazyJoeSchmidt.wordpress.com
    which I hope will take a wide view of what going on Buddhist communities today and how best to put the dharma into practice.

    Gary Farrow
    gjfarrow@gmail.com

    • thug4lyfe

      Sounds your practicing escapism dude… Shambhala… isn’t that run by aging hippies?

  • http://nekoboy86.wordpress.com/ 11tailfox

    If I may suggest, there is a blog post here that would have advice for people who wish to join a Buddhist community, and what to do and how to cope when you discover that the people there arent as nice as you expect them to be:

    http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/dharma-work-attitude-tdl.html